Wow, what an eye-opener this month has been.
If you weren’t here for the beginning of May, my resolution for this month is to appreciate my fellow Goddess’ more instead of participating in gossip, shaming, jealousies, and other women against women behavior. My issues with other women and my relationships with them runs deeper than I imagined. First off, having this awareness made it suddenly so obvious how often I do these things and that it actually (however temporary) feels good in the moment. I have grown up where its been taught that this is “bad” form but everyone does it and that’s that. End of lesson. I have habitual thought patterns when it comes to the way I think about women. I have also come to realize that I have a very specific requirements in a female that I take on as a friend. After a few toxic female friendships I seem to have made the decision to limit even my interactions with women and only attempting friendships when I am sure that the particular individual is going to appreciate my effort.
So after, basically, my whole life of worshiping some women while ripping apart others I am attempting to adapt my thought pattern to appreciate and love every girl and women and her own inner Goddess.
SOooo how the heck do I do this?
1. Cultivating new friendships free of expectations – one of the main reasons I think I have ended up on the bitter side of friendship is because of my own high expectations within them. I abandoned expectations in my romantic relationship and it has resulted in the most spectacular love and appreciation for one another. So my friendships have followed suit. It seems so simple but giving up control in any relationship can be challenging.
2. Smiling – Women are not going to all get along all the time. We have different personalities and interests but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t appreciate and respect one another. Just because an individual doesn’t share my view on life or acts a particular way doesn’t mean they aren’t worthy of my love. So as a simple gesture I have decided to give every women I come into contact with a smile. A real one! A nice side-effect is that this practice has also filtered outward to everyone … men, dogs, cats, and trees. Smiles for everyone!
3. Metta Meditation- The cultivation of loving-kindness (mettā bhāvanā). In the Buddhist tradition, this practice begins with the meditator cultivating loving-kindness towards themselves and/or sending it out to one’s loved ones, friends, teachers, strangers, enemies, and finally towards all beings. I have chosen to utilize this meditation on my own loving quest with women either by visualizing a particular female friend, family member, co-worker, or sending out a blanket of loving-kindness to the women of the world. If you choose to practice this as well you can also recite loving words to send to yourself or others (example: ” I send loving-kindness to all beings” )
I am feeling hopeful and happy about these new outlooks and changes. Also very lucky to be surrounded by fearless females that inspire me to be better and love more. Gratitude!