Yoga Discovery: Painful Words
Its almost an out of body experience when you hear someone speaking about you without them knowing. Like hearing a juicy piece of gossip that you can’t help but eat up. This is how I felt after recently hearing a co-working telling another some negative thoughts about me. It took a moment to process that the words were about me, and worse that they were fueled on the assumption that I had gone home early (which I hadn’t).
I enjoy my work and anyone who has ever worked with me knows that I generally always enjoy what I do. The best part is making other patients or my co-workers happy either with a little poem, a joke, special surprise, or just a positive attitude. So it hurt me to hear someone saying that they thought I was lazy. After hearing the conversation I felt cowardly for not coming forward or even confronting my co-worker later on about what he said. I even began to second-guess myself about the amount of work I had done that day and figured that perhaps he was right.
After re-thinking it and even staying late until after he left just in spite of him I realized that dispite the painful words it was up to me to move on. He had obviously made up his mind about the person I was and no amount of work was going to change that opinion until he was ready to change it. I know how much effort I put into my days, and the most important thing at the end of the day is that I am content. I know from past experiences and dwellings that if I focused on this one persons opinion and made it my goal to please them that I may not be leaving the office in a positive state of mind. I am most definitely not going to stop enjoying my job because one person seems to take that as I sign that I am not working hard.
So if you’ve had a similar experience or possibly feel the heaviness of disapproval from someone its time to tune that out and tune into yourself. People may have reasons for their judgements, motivations for their concerns but the most important thing is living YOUR truth.
Moments in reflection can be challenging but always worthy of our time. There are 4 postures together repeated slowly and free of any strained effort that make me turn inward, stand in my truth, and create space to let go.
A half sun saluation in this order
Urdhva Hastasana (upward salute)
Uttanasana (standing forward fold)
Ardha Uttanasana (halfway lift)
It looks like…
center Inhale exhale inhale exhale inhale exhale
I have written about mantras before but after my meditation challenge brought them more into my life. I find that a start repeating a mantra before I even think of it and it always brings pure focus and relaxation. I also find that repeating a mantra makes me see and feel real truths… whatever that even means. So if it feel appropriate for you try the mantra… “I am my truth”
Feel free to combine the half salutations with the a mantra along with your inhales and exhales
Fire and swords are slow engines of destruction, compared to the tongue of a Gossip.
Sidenote: This experience also hightened the awareness I had for what was said behind the front desk. Its not always easy working in an office with many different personalities and I am not innocent in the act of speaking about someone behind their back. Its something that I’ve always known to be inappropriate but within our space and for our ears only it seemed ok to complain or judge. But who knows, maybe someone heard me and maybe my words hurt someone too. I am in the business of sharing love, not slinging hate, judgement, or guilt. I can only hope my change of heart can also effect those around me.