One yogini sharing her path of discovery

Posts tagged ‘work’

Dropping the Ball, Picking up the Goggles

August is quickly coming to an end and my resolution for the month is also quickly fading away. What started out as good intentions to speak to more strangers and ready myself for the openness of Burning Man ended with my complete consuption with new resonsibilities at work and getting physically ready for the iconic gathering. I have even attempted writing this post more than once and more than once I have been pulled away by other things that appeared more important.

At first, I gave up on my resolution blogging for this month. Other things were happening and I had felt such success with July that I offered myself a break. Wes and I had decided to talk to more strangers for August and I figured I would still do it, but not have to write about it right away. Very quickly my resolution was forgotten in Wes and my minds and the space made for bridging the gap and creating connected began to fill with negativity, judgment, and stress.

This was foolish I have come to realize, and that the physical preparations (food, water, money,etc) are only a small part of nessessary readiness. As much as costumes and Emergen-C play a significant role, cultivating the right intention is going to make the all the difference in my experience. Not to mention the experience of my amazing partner in all of this. Clearly, this realization is not only about Burning Man but life.

Life is a glorious adventure and instead of getting caught up in the things I “Should” be doing I intent to put passion, purity, and dedication into the things I am doing in the moment. This means writing more about my human experience and not giving into uninspired apathy. I have discovered more about myself and life within the letters on paper or screen than I ever have trying to get ahead at work or being mad at someone for saying “I can fold them” in the wrong way. The enjoyment of writing is a gift as is the ability for everyone to have the chance to share.

 

So what is the August Resolution at the end of all this reflection? Continue to speak to new people and surrender to the shared experience that we are cultivating.

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The Appointment

The Appointment

By Carly

 

Only ten more minutes and I can just go home. Thank goodness. That movie wasn’t even good. Why did I even bother to stay awake to watch it? So much to do still. What should I make for dinner? I should text Charlie and ask him? He doesn’t seem to …

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Yes, hi. Did you need to make another appointment?” I can feel my stomach growling. She’s not even looking at me. Hello? “Did you need another appointment?”

 

“I”ll pay first.”

 

Yes, obviously I know you need to pay. I’m just trying to help you. “Yup, we can do that.” Smile smile smile. “It will be $60 for today.” Okay, take a break from your phone hand me your card already…

 

“It was only $55 last time. Why is that?”

 

“Oh, sorry about that. It was showing wrong in my system.” Nine minutes to go. I haven’t seen this card before. It looks fancy. I wonder if she has a lot of money. She sure acts like she does. Doesn’t matter. “So when would you like to book for next?”

 

“I’ll need to come Thursday.”

 

“Okay, I have a couple openings, one at 7:30 am or another at 2:00 pm.” I don’t think she has made eye contact with me once. Connected to her phone and yet disconnected from real life.

 

“No, thats not going to work for me. You don’t have something around 10:00?”

 

Urg, patience. “No, sorry the only morning time slot is 7:30.” Like I already said.

 

“7:30 hmm, thats way too early for me. What was the other time again?”

 

“Two o’clock.” What do I have to snack on at home?

 

“Well, 10:00 would really be best. What do you have Friday?”

 

Click click click, sweet. “Yes, I have a 10:00 am on Friday if that works better for you.” Horay, click, champion of th…

 

“Ya, no. 10:00 doesn’t work for me on Friday. Do you have anything around 4:00?”

 

Ahhhhhhh. “Sorry, your therapist is only here till 3:00.”

 

“3:00 is fine.”

 

“No, she is only here till 3:00, her last appointment is at 2:30 and its already spoken for.” God, this women. Why is she so difficult? Maybe it would be helpful to look up from your phone. Oh, and now its ringing. Why doesn’t anyone call me? Smile.

 

“Hi, I can’t talk. I am just at an appointment. I’ll see you when you get home. Bye. Geez, kids right?!”

 

“Haha, yup.” Does she really think I look old enough to have kids old enough to be calling and bothering me on the phone? Old enough for a two year old. Maybe.

 

“Sorry, so you said you have 3:00 on Friday?”

 

Wow, really?! “No the only times I have Friday are 10:00 and 1:30.” Maybe old enough for a 5 year old if I had gotten pregnant after high school. But thats still a stretch. I wonder if I’ll  ever have kids. I’d be a better mother than her.

 

“Okay, well, this is ridiculous. I am trying to work YOU guys into MY schedule and it just isn’t working. I’ll have to call you when I know my schedule.”

 

Bitch! Well, at least she’s gone and I can go home.

 

 

Why is it always so hard to get up after these appointments. Pain is radiating everywhere in my body. Am I over reacting? Maybe I have that pain disease that Montel has. How do I get out of here. All I see is red flashing when I feel like this. Red red red. Oh buzz… there goes my phone. I should book first but I don’t want to miss a call from the hospital. 

 

“Excuse me?” This girl is just staring at the clock like a zombie. Oh shoot I missed a call. When did it ring? It was probably the hosp…

 

“Yes, hi. Did you need to make another appointment?” 

 

…ital. Red. Mom. My mom. I love her. It hurts. 

 

 

 “Did you need another appointment?”

 

Oh, I need to remember what I am doing. “I”ll pay first.” I have to go. What is going on with my call display. Its all wacky.

 

“Yup, we can do that. It will be $60 for today.”

 

Focus. Credit card. Wait that price is wrong. “It was only $55 last time. Why is that?” How much money have I spent here and I still hurt everywhere. Red.

 

“Oh, sorry about that. It was showing wrong in my system.”

 

How many times have I been here and she still can’t remember how much I pay. I wonder if she knows my name. I wonder when the last time a man said my name in passion was? 

 

“So when would you like to book for next?”

 

Mom’s thing is on Wednesday and the kids have that other singing thing in the afternoon on Thursday. “I’ll need to come Thursday.” 

 

“Okay, I have a couple openings, one at 7:30 am or another at 2:00 pm.” 

 

“No, thats not going to work for me. You don’t have something around 10:00?” Ahhh this phone. Calender. Okay Thursday. 

 

“No, sorry the only morning time slot is 7:30.”

 

Yikes. “7:30 hmm, thats way too early for me. What was the other time again?” My brain is not working. Red. Hospital. Mom.

 

“Two o’clock.” 

 

Forget Thursday. What’s Friday? “Well, 10:00 would really be best. What do you have Friday?”

 

“Yes, I have a 10:00 am on Friday if that works better for you.” 

 

“Ya, no. 10:00 doesn’t work for me on Friday. Do you have anything around 4:00?” Why is this girl so abrupt? I can’t think fast enough for her. Friday morning I have to go yoga. The kids…

 

“Sorry, your therapist is only here till 3:00.”

 

Oh “3:00 is fine.”

 

“No, she is only here till 3:00, her last appointment is at 2:30 and its already spoken for.” 

 

 

Red red. Oh phone finally. Mom. “Hi, I can’t talk.” Whats he gotten himself into now? He never calls. Red. Breathe. “I am just at an appointment. I’ll see you when you get home.” I love him, “Bye.” Her smile seems so forced. Maybe she has kids. Young ones. “Geez, kids right?!” I miss having a baby.

 

“Haha, yup.” 

 

I guess she does. What did she say? “Sorry, so you said you have 3:00 on Friday?” 

 

“No the only times I have Friday are 10:00 and 1:30.” 

 

Phone. Red. 1:30 what am I doing? Ahhh I can’t think right now. Mom. I have to check on mom. “Okay, well, this is ridiculous.” I am being ridiculous. Red red red. “I am trying to work you guys into my schedule and it just isn’t working. I’ll have to call you when I know my schedule.” I need to lay down. Wow, look of death from reception zombie. Glad I am not her kid. 

Creating Peace in the Workplace

The office place continues to boggle, challenge, and interest me. I have worked in a variety of workplace settings. Video store, large hotel, big rehab center, hospitals, small an larger private physio clinics. Each of these settings offer their own special kind of drama. I have always thought of myself as an observer and in each of these settings I could have started a tabloid magazine with the amount of  drama that occurs on a daily basis.

Every once in a while the story has included yours truly for which I have undoubtedly encouraged instead of letting it go. Of course I was always the good guy and the wronged individual and I took every opportunity to broadcast my story of woe to anyone that would listen. When I began to explore inward I noticed my dramatic pattern. Not necessarily looking for trouble but not stopping it should any kind of situation arise. I noticed that I even mildly reveled in someone treating me unkindly so that I could retell my story and get further retribution from others. What the what?!

Ultimately my reaction is less about other energy towards me and more to do with my perceptions of others energy as well as my insecurities regarding my work and emotional connection to how others see me. When I let go of my ego and tune into my unity with others the drama becomes very insignificant and the desire to create or maintain a peaceful state within myself and my office becomes the goal.

Practice:

Although I still catch myself in this pattern I am more conscious of it and don’t do it as much as I used to (hopefully). Something that has really aided me in letting go of workplace drama and most especially not taking it home with me is to balance my 7 chakras (most importantly the first 3) and having a work mantra when things are about to go sideways.

-In my experience and my body the most efficiant way to balance is with Surya Namaskara सूर्य नमस्कार or “Sun salutation”

I can pretty much do a sun salutation anytime and anywhere and is valueable tool to have in your kit of knowledge. *Keep in mind that everybody has a different body and take the time to explore what works right for you.

-Also, I am a firm believer in the transforming power of a mantra (A mantra मन्त्र is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of “creating transformation” -Wiki) Just like asana practice each person has something that works for them. The same goes for mantra’s. We all have something that resinates within depending on whats going on around us or where we want to go.

When choosing your mantra you can find something that is already out there (Check out Deva Premal for some beautiful and uplifting mantras http://grooveshark.com/#!/devapremal) Or you can make up your own with sounds or words that resinate.

-Now that I am feeling more balanced I can start to creating real change in the workplace. I like to bring in flowers to brighten up the space, smile and laugh whenever possible and treat my team with respect dispite how they may be acting towards me or other co-workers.

***This is an ongoing practice, and I am most certainly not always perfect and have moments when I fall back into old stories and patterns. I feel blessed when I am reminded of my ego and have the tools to let it go and cultivate change for myself and hopefully others.

Namaste

Carly

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